Childish Antics
by Thisisnataliexd
Summary: Steve Rogers can tolerate a lot of things, but one thing he can't tolerate is Clint Barton's and Tony Starks childish antics. Very silly one-shot. You're welcome!


There were many things Steve Rogers was. He was a soldier, he was a blonde. He was an Avenger, he was a secret Trekkie (but he'd never tell Clint that). He could also calm down screaming citizens in distress, and defeat the foe at the same time. But there was one thing he couldn't do, no matter how much he tried, no matter how much he persevered, and that was putting up with Tony Starks and Clint Barton's general array of bullshit. Today was no exception.

"You know when you got defrosted? Steve? Steve? You know when you got defrosted? Steeeeeeeeeve?!"  
"What?!" Steve snapped at Tony, and Tony looked slightly taken aback for a fleeting moment, before babbling on again.  
"You know when they defrosted you, what was your first shower like?" Tony asked innocently, Steve blinked.  
"What?"  
"Your shower, what was it like?" Tony carried on, Steve felt slightly confused.  
"I don't, I don't remember." Steve said. All he wanted to do was to get the conversation over and done with. It was Tonys turn to look confused that time.  
"You mean, someone else showered you?" Tony said in disgust, but he was grinning cheekily.  
"I know what you're up to, and no Tony, that's just gross." Steve got to his feet from the cushy sofa, ignoring Tony's ridiculously childish face as he left.

Steve strode into the kitchen and poured himself a very strong cup of coffee. He hated it when Tony did things like that, and he hated it even more when he was right. To try and get over the unnerving truth Tony had pointed out to him, Steve decided to go for a jog to try and clear his head. After changing into track suit bottoms and a plain white t-shirt, Steve grabbed his iPod (a Christmas present from Natasha), along with his headphones and started making his way to the lift. But the peace didn't last long in the form of a tapping on his shoulder.

"Steve." Steve turned around to see Clint smiling at him, he then noticed that the hole in the top of the lift was open.  
"If you get squashed climbing around the lifts I'm not clearing it up." Steve said, and Clint laughed before stepping in front of Steve.  
"So, how're you doing today?" Clint asked nonchalantly. Steve felt slightly on edge, mainly because Clint was extremely close to him and staring at him. He felt like he was being x-rayed.  
"I'm.. Good. You?" Steve replied politely, but Clint seemed to be interested in something else.  
"No split ends. Very interesting... No split ends..." Clint trailed off, Steve noticed how he took a walkie-talkie off his belt and began speaking into it. "We are no on the split ends Iron Man, we are no on the split ends, over." Steve raised an eyebrow as the radio crackled and Tony spoke.  
"Great work Hawkeye, what about the dandruff? Over." Steve's eyebrow rose higher up his forehead and Clint smirked.  
"No-" Steve started, but his exclamation was ignored as in one swift movement Clint had bounced off the lift wall and was scrambling to sit on Steve's shoulders. "What are you doing?!" Steve protested, and he felt fingers running through his hair.  
"Woah Steve, how much product do you use? Ew." Clint groaned and Steve rolled his eyes and began tapping his foot on the floor.  
"None."  
"I know, juuuust messing with ya!" Clint grinned as he hopped down and the lift stopped. Clint stepped out and Steve remained standing their, completely confused as to what had just happened. As Clint walked away Steve heard him talking into the radio. "And that's a negatory on the dandruff too."

Steve felt slightly unnerved now, and in no mood for a jog, so he jabbed the lift button as hard as he could and felt it begin clunking as it rose to the higher levels of Stark Tower. He didn't think it could get any stranger, or anymore annoying. But it did. In form of Tony, dressed in a pink ball gown, and a very long wig.

"Tony. What are you-"  
"My knight in shining sweat pants has returned!" Tony shrieked, and Steve flinched. That voice was too high to fit Tony, it was creepy. Tony flung himself around Steve's neck and smiled vibrantly.  
"What are you doing?" Steve asked, pushing Tony away, but he just carried on grinning like an idiot. It was only then that Steve realised Tony was wearing pink lipstick. "Are you, are you high?" Steve asked curiously, as Tony ran across the room and grabbed a parcel from the coffee table. He then ran back across the room towards Steve and handed the parcel to him.

"This is for you, as a reward for being such a sexy beast." Tony said seriously, but by the way he was chewing his lip Steve could tell he just wanted to burst out laughing. Cautiously, Steve took the parcel and unwrapped it. It was a DVD.

"Iron Sky? What's this..?" He flipped it over while Tony shoved his fist in his mouth to stifle his laughter. There was tears streaming down his face. "Tony, why have you given me a DVD about Nazi's living on the moon?" Steve asked seriously, and Tony burst out laughing and started rolling around on the floor clutching his middle.

"Okay, okay. What are you and Clint playing at? What do you think you're-" Steve's temper was cut off as the lift dinged and a new figure entered the room. This one was dressed as a knight. He lifted his helmet up and Clint's beaming face was revealed.

"Fair Maiden Tony!" Clint yelled, putting on a pompous British Accent as he spoke. Tony continued to roll around on the floor, apparently not being able to say anything due to the air needed for laughing and crying. "Who is this I see with you? Is it a new lover?". Tony doubled up.  
"Aye, it is." Tony nodded, gradually rising to his feet. The two men who had gotten lost in the Middle Ages both looked at each other and burst out laughing again, Steve had had enough.

"You're both idiots. I'm going." Steve told them, and turned to walk out of the room, but he stopped dead in his tracks as something collided with the back of his head. That's when he lost it.

Spinning around, he rounded on the two hysterical men, both of whom we're clutching each other for support. He grabbed Clint's helmet and slammed it down across his face, and pulled Tony's tiara off and threw it across the room. Tony and Clint didn't say anything. They turned and stared at each other, and then burst out laughing. "For God sake!" Steve bellowed, and Clint and Tony wiped away the tears. "You're both crazy!".

"He's only acting like this because you cheated on me with him!" Clint choked through laughter.  
"Oh, you want a fight then?" Tony roared, as he straightened up and put his hands on his hips. "C'mon then! Come at me bro!".

Steve watched on in disbelief as the two men launched themselves at each other. From the sound of it, it could have been easily mistaken for a full on street fight. However, as Steve drew closer it soon became apparent that they were tickling each other. He groaned and pulled the two apart, as he did so, Tony stretched out his hand and slapped Clint across the face.

"Quit slapping me! You old wench!" Clint shouted in mock surprise, and the two flailed at each other. Steve sighed and let them go. While Clint and Tony continued their ever so laborious fight; Steve slipped off to his room and went to bed.

It was the morning, and Steve woke up feeling tired and groggy. Last nights events still fresh in his mind. Never one for having a lie-in, he rolled over and clambered out of bed. Ready to face the new day. Once he'd gotten changed into jeans and a t-shirt, he embarked on his mission to the kitchen, wary in case Clint and Tony had anything else hidden up their sleeves.

As he reached the kitchen, he flicked on the TV, and watched it numbly as he poured himself a glass of orange juice. Natasha walked in.  
"So you had fun yesterday then?" She asked, opening the fridge and pulling out some apple juice.  
"You could say that." Steve said, and Natasha smirked as she took a swing from her freshly poured cup.  
"You know, it's had 4.5 million views on YouTube..." Natasha trailed off and began watching the TV.  
"Sorry? 4 what?" Steve asked, confused. Natasha raised her eyebrows and grinned even wider. Her eyes lingered on the TV before she grabbed the controller and turned it up.

"... And last but not least we have news from inside Stark Tower, as to what the Avengers do when they're bored. Last night, Tony Stark, also known as Iron Man, and Clint Barton, known as Hawkeye, posted a video of themselves on YouTube annoying the famous Captain America..." Steve groaned as Natasha turned off the TV.  
"Aw poor Steve..." Natasha mocked as she hugged him. "Apparently they got in a bunch of requests from random people of stuff to do. I didn't even now they had a Tumblr account, but there you go. Yeah, people suggested stuff and they chose the best ones..."  
"Why would they do that?" Steve moaned, running a hand through his hair, which he was happy to say was dandruff free.  
"That's just the thing though, Fury dared them to do it." Natasha told him, and she stalked away, as Steve looked dumbfounded. "Don't worry your pretty little head about it, we'll get them back. Don't worry."

**Hi! I hoped you enjoyed that. It was only supposed to be a very silly one-shot that isn't really supposed to be taken seriously, at all. If you want to tell me I've done a good job, great. If you want to tell me I've wasted however long it took me to write it, great. Yeah, hoped you enjoyed it! **

**Also, what did people think of Sherlock?! :O **


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